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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25085287">sunshine boy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/loopid/pseuds/loopid'>loopid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Diamond &amp; Pearl &amp; Platinum | Pokemon Diamond Pearl Platinum Versions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Fluff, Friendship, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:27:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,011</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25085287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/loopid/pseuds/loopid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Barry had to be strong, and one time when he wasn't.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hikari | Dawn &amp; Jun | Barry &amp; Kouki | Lucas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>sunshine boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Spent a few hours on this on a sudden burst of inspiration. I haven't written in so long, but I absolutely adore Barry's character and wanted to show a different side of him, I guess.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time Barry had to be strong was for his mother. He isn’t sure about the details, he never is. But he does remember a shadow in the doorframe, blond spikes he wouldn’t recognize until years later.</p><p>His mother held him extra tight the following days. He was young, oblivious, but remembers her shoulders shaking as she clutched his then-little body to her chest. He squeezes his baby arms around her.</p><p>Later, he’d wake up by her side, surrounded by oceans of sheets. In the moonlight, he was awed by how massive his mom’s bed was, compared to his. And yet she took up not even half its area. He wonders how anyone could fill that extra space. But the sun hasn’t risen and she’s stirring, reaching out. He crawls back into her embrace, and falls asleep with her fingers in his hair.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Dawn is his best friend in the whole wide world. Barry declares it not long after they meet, and soon he has the keys to her house and could run to her room blindfolded. He’d barge in every day, bright and early, to drag her awake and regale her about something he saw near the lake, or overheard on the TV. Then they’d play outside all day. He’d climb trees and she’d stick flowers in his hair. Dawn became an expert in applying Band-Aids. They’d splash around the water until sundown, when the aroma of dinner wafted by, along with their mom’s calls.</p><p>Their mothers talk a lot, too. Barry’s mom visits Dawn’s house every once in a while, and those times are the best. They talk about adult-y things for hours past dinner, and that means Barry can play with Dawn for longer. Bedtimes are forgotten – that is, until Dawn’s dad comes home, and everyone has to leave and Dawn has to go to bed and Barry’s mom has to usher him home while the door closes behind the towering figure.</p><p>One day, he throws open the door to Dawn’s room, as usual. But there’s no sound from the lump on the bed. Barry calls out her name, says he’ll fine her a bazillion dollars. Still nothing. He inches closer to her bed, and when he sees his best friend, his voice dies down in his throat.</p><p>Eyes puffy, face red, fists curled into her blanket.</p><p>“I don’t want to play today, Barry.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, she can’t even look at him.</p><p>“Dawn? Dawn, what happened?” He’s confused. Dawn is usually so strong. He had only ever seen her cry once before – the first time she scraped her knee. The next time, she simply waited for him to rush back with adults in tow. She didn’t even cry when her mom put the medicine on her wound. Barry knew how much it stung, but try as he might, he could never steel himself the way she could.</p><p>“I don’t know.” She curls up tighter, taking the blankets with her. Her bed’s half empty at this point. Barry scoots up next to her, and dangles his legs. For once, he knew to keep his mouth shut.</p><p>“I think Daddy is leaving forever,” she says, finally. And Barry thinks about his own dad, who’s sometimes on TV. His mom said that he left to get stronger, and Barry believes it, rapt by the battles on the little screen.</p><p>“Well, he probably left to get stronger like my dad, too!” Barry says. “My mom says he’ll come back someday. Maybe your dad will come back when he’s as good as my dad too. And if he doesn’t, I’m gonna fine him ten million.”</p><p>“But my dad isn’t a Pokémon trainer like your dad,” says Dawn. Her sniffles have calmed down by now, though.</p><p>“Then I’m gonna fine him more!” Barry declares. “Why else would he leave? Tell you what, Dawn – sometimes I see my dad on TV. Wanna see if your dad got on TV, too?”</p><p>Dawn finally sits up, and wipes her face with her sleeve. “Okay, Barry.”</p><p>He 100% believes he’s right. His dad fights other strong men on TV all the time – there’s no way Dawn’s dad could have left for anything but that. He and Dawn make a nest of pillows in front of the TV, and he clicks it on as she settles next to him.</p><p>It isn’t his dad on TV this time, though. It’s a young woman, commanding her Garchomp in a flurry of blonde hair. She’s battling someone – who Barry recognizes as the champion of the Sinnoh region. His mom had told him that much. She talked about his dad and the champion a lot. Barry wonders who was stronger.</p><p>It turns out that Barry was wrong this time. Dawn’s dad never did appear on TV. But all her gloom was replaced by light in her eyes, as the two of them watched the battle, eyes wide. Dawn’s tears disappeared, all worries about her dad forgotten as the blonde woman took down the champion’s Pokémon, one by one. The battle lasted well into the afternoon, and at last, when the champion’s sixth Pokémon fell to the ground, Dawn cheered.</p><p>“Look, Barry! A girl beat him!” She’s scooted up close, a hand’s width away from the screen. “That means she’s the strongest trainer, right?”</p><p>“I think so,” says Barry. “She got a trophy and stuff, see? And she beat that other guy, and my mom said he was the best trainer in Sinnoh.”</p><p>“I’m gonna be like her when I grow up,” Dawn declares. On TV, the woman starts talking in an interview, and Barry watches Dawn as she clings on to every word.</p><p>“Cynthia, what’s it like to be the new Sinnoh champion?” asks a reporter, and Dawn’s face isn’t red anymore. Barry mentally congratulates himself – he helped his best friend today.</p><p>And yet on the inside he still feels a little guilty. For what, he doesn’t know. But Dawn insists on watching the ensuing celebration and all the interviews after, and when her mom finally comes knocking after it’s blue outside, she finds the two kids asleep in front of a press conference on TV.</p><p>Barry’s mom visits more often after that, too, chatting in hushed voices with Dawn’s mom late into the night. The atmosphere is more subdued this time, but now Barry and Dawn have the TV, and they watch reruns of the battle after playing the whole day. He’d rather do something more active – he’d always been full of energy. But Dawn’s entire mood lights up when she sees the now familiar glint of blonde on the screen, and so Barry goes with it, fighting back sleep in the cradle of their pillow fort. That’s what he does, to make sure his friend is always happy. It’s so dark outside when Barry has to waddle home with his mom at last. But slowly and surely, Dawn stops being sad, and things go back to normal.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Barry doesn’t instantly warm up to Lucas like he did with Dawn. The first time the dark haired boy sees him, all rushed and loud, there’s a look of apprehension on his face. Back then, Lucas’s only friend was Dawn, and Barry, impatient as ever, can’t even focus on the new acquaintance.</p><p>Eventually, though, they find solid ground. Dawn was the one who brought them together, and that’s how they start to get along. Barry finds himself searching for Lucas at school when she’s gone, and it’s not hard to spot that lonely red cap. Over time, Barry befriends the quiet little boy, because no one else save Dawn did. They make a fine team – Barry’s boisterous voice and Lucas’s calm cleverness. He tells Barry all about the bugs he shows him. When Barry yells at the playground bullies to go away, Lucas repays the favor by explaining Barry’s antics to the teachers. They always listen to the smart and well-behaved boy, and now Barry’s mom gets way fewer calls. When Dawn rejoins them, they’re elementary school royalty. She’s as popular as a third grader could be, and with Barry’s optimism and Lucas’s wit, the trio is unstoppable.</p><p>By the time the Professor gives them their first Pokemon, Lucas is already assisting him, because Lucas had always been smart and prudent, and of course Barry was humming with so much excitement he ran off without even getting a Pokédex. Barry doesn’t see much of Lucas anymore – he’s always on the run, and it was much easier for Lucas to meet up with Dawn, because Dawn was helping the Professor too, and even though Barry was faster, she was strong.</p><p>It isn’t until the three of them reunite in Canalave City that Barry realizes just how much his friends have grown. Lucas, mature as ever, sits beside the Professor and helps explain the lake trio. Barry wants to help, too. He watches them explain to Dawn, watches her absorb the information, watches how he becomes an afterthought. Barry wants to help, too. He rushes off to Lake Acuity, and as Prinplup crumbles under the Galactic commander’s prowess, he knows it’s a losing battle.</p><p>Beaten and broken, he thinks about Dawn and Lucas, and how strong they are, and he wishes that was him too. And as if on cue, Dawn’s rushing in, helping him to his feet, and makes clean work of the commander while all he can do is watch.</p><p>He and Dawn team up against the commander later, too. Of course, she took the lead. She’d always been stronger than him, and it wasn’t until now that he started to admit it. When the portal opens, and the champion arrives, he knows it’s Dawn’s time. He wasn’t strong enough, not now. Dawn was their hope, not him.</p><p>Barry’s still reeling in disbelief when he arrives back in Sandgem. Numbly, he explains what happened to the Professor and Lucas, and the boy’s face grows increasingly stricken.</p><p>“Young man, you look exhausted,” says the Professor, once Barry’s done. “Lucas, why don’t you and your friend get some rest? I’ll be able to handle things here for a while.”</p><p>And so that evening, Barry visits Lucas’s house again for the first time in ages. It’s around midnight when Lucas finally cracks. Of course Barry’s not the only one worried sick about Dawn. But that night, he hugs his friend tight as the smaller boy’s sniffles quiet. Barry promises again and again that Dawn is strong, Dawn can defeat that awful man, Dawn can survive, Dawn will come back, and eventually Lucas dozes off on Barry’s chest.</p><p>He stays awake for a while longer. His failures whirl around his mind, one after another. Who was he, compared to Dawn’s prowess and Lucas’s knowledge? Just another rowdy kid, wasn’t he? Never going to amount to anything, always in the shadow of his friends.</p><p>But he gazes down at Lucas, whose breathing has evened out, and he wills himself to not break, because he won’t, not when Lucas needs him.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>When Barry sees her come in, he can’t help himself. He calls her a Slowpoke, because he got to the Pokémon League before her. And he’s been working hard, too, after all his previous defeats. He tells his Pokémon beforehand that they weren’t going to lose to her, not this time.<br/>
And then they battle it out, and she sweeps him again.</p><p>Before his Pokémon have even fully healed, she’s off to challenge the Elite Four, leaving him behind. His mind’s a whirlwind of emotions, because he’s so proud of his best friend, and yet – how could he be so weak?</p><p>He remembers Lucas’s words, a faint memory – “Pokémon can sense your feelings, too. They pick up on your emotions, so even if you feel like giving up, don’t do it, for their sake.”</p><p>He wonders if Empoleon could feel his nervousness once Dawn had knocked out half his team. Maybe they lost because Barry himself couldn’t be strong for them.</p><p>Scooping his Pokéballs up, he rushes outside and lets them out. Each one, he remembers what they went through together. He and Rapidash would run alongside each other every morning, back when it was a Ponyta. He found Heracross after trying out that Honey thing from a guy in Floaroma. When Staraptor was a Starly, it would perch atop his head. He didn’t even mean to catch Snorlax when it was a Munchlax – it ate a Pokéball he dropped, because Barry was messy like that. He thinks about how Budew helped him out against Roark, and then Roselia’s effort when he beat Wake, and finally, how Roserade defeated the wild Pokémon en route to Victory Road. At last, he brings out Empoleon, his very first Pokémon. They’d been together in every battle, winning and losing together.</p><p>He looks up at his team, and they gaze back, obviously worried. They’ve been through so much. He takes a deep breath, and another. Then he steels himself, just like Dawn would, and grins. “Thank you, guys. You all did your best today. I’m so proud.”</p><p>He looks back into the entrance of the Pokémon League. “She’s strong. And she was stronger than us today. But that just means we have to keep training harder and harder!”</p><p>Curling his fists, he turns to his Pokémon and beams. “Are you with me?”</p><p>He’s answered by a great dog pile of his Pokémon hugging him. He laughs as they clamber off Snorlax’s belly, once he can tell his Pokémon’s spirits have brightened up.</p><p>Seriously, Barry deserves an award for the amount of times he’s pretended to have it together.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Dawn’s off in her own villa and Lucas is working on a groundbreaking study with the Professor. Word has it that both of them met the legendary Professor Oak, too. Meanwhile, Barry’s been training every day, because now he knows that his two best friends are so far ahead of him, he couldn’t even try to catch up.</p><p>So he sets his sights on someone else.</p><p>He doesn’t tell anyone, he’s not as loud anymore. But every day that he wakes up on the island, the Battle Tower looms before him, challenging him, daring him.</p><p>He wouldn’t show it to Dawn, but when Barry was showing her the island, they collided with another man. And Barry knew him instantly. He was zapped back to that faint memory of a silhouette in a doorway, but this time, there was a real face to it. It was one that Barry had seem countless times on TV as a kid –</p><p>And then the man was rushing off, and Barry and Dawn were left dumbfounded, and that night, he couldn’t stop thinking about that fateful encounter, and how quickly he was brushed off.</p><p>The only way to make it right, he realizes, would be to prove himself worthy. So he and his team train for months on months. He’s practically friends with the wild Pokémon here now. One day, everything clicks together. He’s ready, and his team knows it too. The past week of training was filled with excitement because they could tell it was almost time, but now everyone’s raring to go, and he recalls them to their Pokéballs late in the evening.<br/>
And yet, all that adrenaline is replaced with fear as Barry walks home. He doesn’t know what he’s expecting, directly facing his father after so many years apart. He stops in front of the Pokémon Center and watches the people passing by.</p><p>He feels so alone.</p><p>His mom is back in Twinleaf Town, Dawn is off who knows where in search of the strongest and legendary Pokémon, Lucas is well on his way to becoming a Professor himself, and although he’s confided in his Pokémon the importance of the next day’s battle, it wasn’t his style to expose his deepest insecurities, even to those he trusted most. He was always their rock, would always be there to absorb their sadness. He needed to be happy for them.</p><p>He falls asleep wondering why he couldn’t be strong for himself.</p><p>When he enters the Battle Tower in the morning, it’s fueled by his own anxious thoughts and copious amounts of caffeine. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” he reminds himself. “It’s now or never.”</p><p>His hands are trembling during the elevator ride up. His steely reflection stares back at him, taller than ever, but still blond and lanky. He wonders if he’s as tall as his dad now. When Barry was younger, he looked up so much to a man he only ever saw on a screen. Younger Barry didn’t understand at the time.</p><p>But now he’s almost an adult, and now he knows better.</p><p>When the elevator dings open, Barry holds his head up high. He’s going to be strong for himself today. He can do it for young Barry. Clutching his Pokéballs, he steps out, awaited by the same blond spikes.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The flight home is painful. He can’t even distract himself this time. “Not strong enough,” his brain would repeat in his head, like a mantra. When he gets home he all but falls off of Staraptor, and thanks the heavens his mom isn’t here to see him this upset.</p><p>His throat’s been stuck all day – this must’ve been a personal record for not talking. He raids the fridge, uncaring. He’s had enough. It’s nearly empty because his mom is efficient like that, but he manages to spot a soda wedged all the way at the back, and the gross sugar fizz has never tasted better.<br/>
He doesn’t recall how long it was that he was home until the door creaks open and sky’s turned dark.</p><p>“Barry?” a woman’s voice calls out, and he’d recognize her anywhere. And it comes crushing down on him again, and he can’t form a response. The lights flicker on, and of course, it’s his mom at the door.</p><p>But then a familiar head of blue hair peeks in, too, followed by that red cap. And god, they’ve grown up – it feels like Barry hasn’t seen them in forever, that they’re all new people. His grip around the empty soda can tightens.</p><p>“Oh, Barry, baby,” his mom says, coming round. “It will be alright.”</p><p>He feels her embrace from the back, and then Dawn and Lucas are on either side of him.</p><p>“We saw the battle on TV,” says Dawn. “You were amazing.”</p><p>Lucas nods. “It’s clear you and your Pokémon have worked so hard for it.”</p><p>And then Barry’s breaking, sobbing on the hard wooden chair, and Dawn and Lucas let him cry all over them, and they stay like that for who knows how long.</p><p>He wakes up on a familiar bed. Snorlax’s belly is rising and falling, and he realizes Dawn and Lucas are curled up next to him. Leaning against Snorlax are all his Pokémon, softly snoring. They’re bundled up in his backyard, and he knows his mom is sleeping judging by the dim light in her room, too. The moon and the stars are bright, but he’s exhausted, and the next time his eyes flutter open, it’s to the scent of breakfast.</p><p>Dawn and Lucas don’t leave his side after that. In the days that follow, they begin to get their rhythm back, just like they used to be when they were kids. Only now, they’re older and wiser.</p><p>It becomes a week of emotional venting as they all lay in the grass and watch the sun rise and fall. His mom got to meet his Pokémon, finally. Dawn regales them with tales from her battles, and Lucas airs out his frustration at the research he was working on. Slowly but surely, Barry hears himself admit his insecurities to them both, as well. Once he starts, he can’t stop. His worries about his mom, sadness at losing to Dawn, envy of Lucas, lies to his Pokémon, and the struggle with his own mind – all of it comes tumbling out of his lips, and he can’t keep it in anymore.</p><p>In hindsight, he wonders how in the world he didn’t confess sooner. He should have had more trust in the people who loved him the most.</p><p>His mom holds him again, tight as ever, although he’s almost twice her height now. She promises he didn’t need to be worried, that she was doing alright. She’d learned to live without his dad, she didn’t need Barry to bring him back for her to be happy. What more, she was proud of him. Always had been, even though he rarely ever came home. There are tears in her eyes when she says, “You’ve grown up to be a more wonderful young man than I’d ever dreamed of.</p><p>Dawn crosses her arms. “You know, you were the one who made me get stronger. I always looked up to Cynthia, but it was because of you that I made it so far. I couldn’t let you get ahead of me.” She rests her head against his chest. “Besides, you’re the only one who even tries to keep up with me. And you’re not in my shadow. Everyone asks how I get so strong, and they wonder, ‘What kind of Trainer could possibly be a match for that girl?’ And most of them don’t care about my answer, but the few that do – they have a lot of respect for you, Barry. You’re stronger than you care to admit. You’ve always been”</p><p>“I envy you too, sometimes,” Lucas admits. “You can travel the world on your own terms, and I have to collect data and stuff for Professor Rowan. Sometimes it’s not fun at all.” He turns to lock eyes with Barry, grass tickling his cheek. “But I can tell you this. You raised your Pokémon extraordinarily well. It’s clear they all love you. I’m sure they understand why you did what you did. You had to be strong for them.”</p><p>Lucas gazes towards the sky again. “But now they’re here for you, because of you. Actually, all of us are where we are because of you.” He closes his eyes. “We’re here now. You don’t need to be strong for us anymore.”</p><p>And this time, Barry lets himself believe it.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Weeks pass, and Barry’s at it again. He and Dawn spar on the daily, attracting passerby to their humble little hometown. The rematch against Palmer is already scheduled, and this time, Barry’s determined. Lucas was even allowed to extract himself from his work and tend to his friends’ Pokémon.</p><p>“Come on, come on, Dawn!” Barry yells. “Is that the best you’ve got? I’m fining you a gazillion dollars!”</p><p>His Empoleon unleashes its best move, a Hydro Pump, and Dawn’s Infernape is caught off guard. The water hits it square and true, and when it dissipates, her Infernape is lying, unable to battle.</p><p>Barry’s mouth drops open. But no, Dawn’s beaming at him, Lucas and Empoleon too, and he realizes he just defeated his best friend for the first time since their journeys started so long ago.</p><p>The ensuing cheers are deafening.</p><p>Another fast forward, and he’s in the same elevator again, but his reflection is assured, calm, collected. He’s just a day shy of his 18th birthday, but already there’s a man gazing back at him, instead of the anxious kid he was a few months prior.</p><p>No, he knows in his heart he’s stronger now. It’s me and you, he thinks, the familiar weight of Empoleon’s Pokéball in his hand. But this time he knows it’s not just him. Dawn and Lucas and his mom and everyone back in Twinleaf Town and beyond, they’re all behind him, too.</p><p>That day, the Battle Tower records its first ever loss. Wannabe Pokémon Masters still flock to the champion (and she defeats them easily), but the more serious trainers come to Barry’s tower now. Sometimes he and Dawn and Lucas, who’s doing a full-on doctorate now, what a nerd, regroup and hang out again, just like old times.</p><p>And it’s then that Barry forgives himself.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! I didn't intend for this to become a romantic fic, but I guess you could pretend there's a lil bit of Dawn/Barry or Lucas/Barry in it if you squint. My apologies if anyone is OOC.</p><p>Anyway, hope everyone's staying safe and healthy this summer, and remember to stan Barry for clear skin :')</p></blockquote></div></div>
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